I just listened to a podcast about "conscious upcoupling" aka divorce. The host of the podcast is getting divorced and she was sharing her story of why they were getting divorced and how they were handling it. The guest wrote a book about how to get divorced in a healthy and productive manner.
The whole episode discussed how beautiful divorce can be and how it can be the best thing for all the people involved. It was an interesting perspective but something about the whole thing bothered me. It bothered me because it made it seem like marriage is something disposable.
The host and her husband were getting divorced because they "grew apart". I obviously do not know what their exact situation is and so it is not my place to judge but it makes me a little angry when people say they "grew apart". The whole point of marriage is to grow together.
Spencer and my marriage are the most important things in my life. They are the center of my whole life and most everything I do is to strengthen my marriage and support Spencer. If I experience any personal growth is it because he has supported me and because I am working on myself to make my marriage better. I want to be the best I can be so that we can have the best union we can.
I may be considered "old-fashioned" for putting my husband and my marriage above everything else in my life but I don't understand why I would combine my life with another person if I wasn't willing to sacrifice for them and give my entire self to them and trust that they are going to do the same for me. It would feel ingenuous and dishonest if I wasn't fully committed to making my marriage the absolute best it could be.
Walking out of the Temple with Spencer after getting sealed was the happiest moment of my life. But looking back on that moment I realize how naive I was about what marriage actually was. In this short 7 months I have realized so much about myself and about marriage. I have realized that it is hard work and not every day is perfect. But each day gets better. And each day we love each other more and more.
Many people may not have the same view as I do but I firmly believe with all my heart that a marriage is a serious commitment that is meant to last a lifetime and for eternity. We need to be fully committed to our marriage and if we are then we will never grow apart. We will be supporting each other and growing to make our selves better for each other.