Thursday, April 3, 2014

Maturing.

Do you ever notice yourself maturing? 

Lately I feel like I have really been feeling that way. Like realizing that maybe I am not quite so far away from being an adult as I thought I was. 

I especially realized this the other day when something that used to really bother me and send me into a little pit of despair and self-consciousness happened and it slightly bothered me but then I realized that this occurrence doesn't mean that I need to have a freak out. I can just roll with it. I feel like I have a new stability and the things other people do don't have such an effect on me.

Another sign of my impending maturity is my ability to be alone. I remember in high school being so concerned about what everyone was thinking about you if you had to walk anywhere by yourself. I always assumed that everyone though I was a super freak who had no friends if I had to walk down the hall by myself to meet up with my friends. And heaven forbid you had to walk across the whole quad by your lonesome. You might as well just commit social suicide. But now I do almost everything by myself. And I kind of love it.  It gives you a whole new level of self-confidence. 

The other day someone asked me what I would have done if they hadn't shown up to this event we were at. In that moment I thought that I would have been kind of mad at them for abandoning me but honestly I probably would have just rolled with the punches and had a good time by myself. 

 Feeling stable and confident in being your own person is really good. And you couldn't pay me a million dollars to go back to feeling the anxiety that came with this lack of confidence....ok, maybe you could because a million dollars is a lot.

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