Monday, March 31, 2014

Motivation.

This senioritis is really killing me. 

I can barely find it in me to even go to class. Much less do all the work that comes along with that.

So here I am begging for someone to give me some motivation to get things done. Do you ever have times where you honestly can not get yourself moving. I just can't get out of this rut. But at least I can call it senioritis and have somewhat of an excuse. So here is hoping April will be better than March!

And until I get some real motivation I am just going to follow Mindy

Source

Friday, March 28, 2014

Lily.

I have been listening to an obscene amount of Lily Allen. Like it is a little bit out of hand. I just can not get enough of her. But since most of her music is a little bit inappropriate I will just share this song with you. This is seriously one of my favorites and expresses emotions that I think everyone can relate to at one time or another.



And I am not going to encourage you to listen to the rest of her music because some of the lyrics are questionable...but....I am kind of emcouraging you to haha.

(And I know what you are all thinking, she is subliminally trying to get a message across with this song isn't she? You will never know!)

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Subliminal

Now don't tell me I am the only one that tries to use music to send subliminal messages to people. Like when you just really want to tell someone something but you don't want to actually say the words and so you are like "listen to this really awesome song!" and then hope the music gets your point across...?

Ok. so I am the only person that does that?

I would love to give you an example of songs I could do this with right now but most of them are a little too obvious so I won't  (If you really want to know, leave a comment or something and I will get back to you)

I think the best example I have used in the past is Brave by Sara Bareilles. Sometimes I just want to smack people over the head and tell them to stop being afraid of things So usually I just tell them I have this great song they should listen to haha.

I don't think this subliminal messaging ever really works, but its worth a shot right?

And maybe this is a super bad idea to reveal this tactic because now everyone is going to question every song I tell them to listen to...but maybe that is the point...(insert maniacal laugh)




Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Best.

As I said yesterday, life can be a little hard sometimes and everything can seem to be going wrong. When things feel like that sometimes you just need a little makeshift cheer. My favorite way to cheer myself up is by a good catchy song. 



Right now this song is doing wonders to my mood. It makes me remember that any day can be the best day of my life if I just think it can. 

Ok, that sounds super cheesy but sometimes cheese is the best way.

Monday, March 24, 2014

Failing.

Do you ever have times where you feel like you are failing at just about everything? 

Cause that is how I feel right about now.

My parents have been out of town for the past week and I have been in charge of my siblings, add that to the busiest week of my life and it just seems like I can't quite get anything done right.  Like I am spread a little too thin. 

It is really frustrating to have so much to do that you can't do anything fully right. 

So just as I felt like nothing was going right and I really couldn't keep it all together I got a lovely email from my friend Lauren. 

Lauren is on her mission in Paris and I haven't heard from her in quite a while. For some reason her email just really made everything click back into perspective.

 I am doing ok. I may not be at my absolute best right now but eventually everything will stabilize and I will be able to feel in control again. Sometimes it just takes a little time of being out of balance for everything to balance out how it really should be. 

So, I am trying my best to keep everything running smoothly but I just have to keep remembering that everything is fine, it may be imperfect and out of control but that's just how it is right now. There is nothing I can do the change the situation so I just have to keep doing the best I can. 

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

#ProjectSelfLove

The first step to reading this post is to go to I Wore Yoga Pants and read this post.

Ok, you read it?

Good.

I am OBSESSED with this post. I think it is so wonderful and something that is really missing from this world.

We are all constantly criticizing everything especially ourselves and I think we really need to just tone it down. I am so horrible about this. I am constantly thinking about the things I have done and how I should have done them differently or how I should have worn a different outfit or how my hair looks horrible today.  
How can I expect to feel happy and positive if I am constantly tearing myself down?

It really isn't possible.

Even before I read this post I was thinking a lot about happiness and how I can become more happy. The first step I decided to take was to focus more on my self worth and the fact that I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me more than I can imagine. Hopefully it is not a secret on this blog that I am a mormon and one fundamental thing we believe is that we are children of God. By focusing on this I am able to try and see myself as He sees me. To try see all the good about me and try to find ways to limit the things that aren't so great. This has been a HUGE source of recent happiness for me. 

Once I get that fundamental part of my self-worth in place I have begun focusing on more external things. So here are some things I came up with that I love about myself.

- I cry...a lot. It is often about my own predicament but sometimes I cry about the plights of others. I love that empathetic side of me.

- I love that I am smart.

- I love that I am pretty good at being brave.

- I love that I am often more knowledgeable about sports than some of the guys I know.

- I love that I have green eyes.

- I love that I read books.

- I love my hands and fingers and finger nails.

- I love that I am funny

So there are just a few things I thought of that I love about myself. 

I encourage you all to spend some time thinking about what you love about yourself. It is a beautiful exercise and will really help you to feel better about yourself. I promise! And if you need someone to help you get the ball rolling I would love to tell you all some things that make you lovable and amazing.

Monday, March 17, 2014

Zion's

Spring break was good to me. I spent half of it laying in my bed doing nothing and I spent the other half in St. George. And in typical St. George fashion we had to go to Zions.


Now I don't think that Rachel was expecting to go on a very hard hike but then I suggested we just do Angel's Landing and she kind of unwillingly obliged.

It was worth it.



Even the infamous switchbacks were not totally unbearable.


We were really proud of ourselves when we reached the plateau that is kind of at the top. Then I told her that we really needed to do the rest of it that involves things like this...


But we obviously killed it and weren't even scared (well one of us wasn't even scared)


And we made some great new friends.


All in all, I would say it was a success. And we ended the day with the best burger I have ever had. 



Perfect day!

Friday, March 14, 2014

Awkward.

It has already been established that I love buzzfeed. I can't even put links to all the places I have referenced buzzfeed on this blog because there are too many. Anyways, I was on there the other day and I was seriously dying over this list. 


Seriously one of the funniest things I have ever seen. And then I got to #20 and almost died laughing


Take a minute to try and figure out why I found this so hilarious.

Oh, maybe the fact that the guy on the left is wearing a BYU sweatshirt and this so obviously happened on BYU campus. 

Maybe now you can understand why I love the U and why we spend so much of my life mocking BYU.

#sorrynotsorry #goutes

Also, you can take this London Landmarks quiz and see if you can beat me. I was semi-proud of myself until Ivy told me her score and then I was really embarrassed. 

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Expectations.

Expectations.

I have a lot of them.

And they might be my enemy. 

Seriously though, expectations of how things should be might be the death of me. 

Source
I wouldn't necessarily say that I have high expectations but I do know exactly how I want things to go and when things don't go that way then I tend to be disappointed. 

I think the word disappointed might be a slight understatement. 

For example, I have some people that I hang out with and almost every time I have an expectation of certain things I want to happen. Those things almost never happen and by the end of the night I am usually disappointed. Often so disappointed that I go home and cry about it. Yes I am well aware that I sound like a total baby.

I am causing myself so much unnecessary unhappiness by putting expectations on people. I am expecting people to act in a certain way and then not telling them how I want them to act. Then when they inevitably fall short of my semi-ridiculous expectations I end up getting frustrated with them.

How crazy do I sound?

Although I sound like a total lunatic I think this is more common than people want to admit. I think we all have expectations and some of us are just worse at controlling and dealing with those expectations.

I don't want to be this person that can't even enjoy what is happening because it isn't how I envisioned it. I want to be able to just accept each experience and person for who or what they are. I want to be able to let go of this sense of control.

I want to be able to just let go of how I think it should be and just let it be....but I am not sure that I can.

Monday, March 10, 2014

Follow up.

Now that two months of the year are gone (how insane is that???) I think it is time to do a little follow up on how my resolutions are going.

Generally I would like to say that I have felt more peaceful this year but I don't quite think that is true. I have still felt a lot of stress and haven't been so good at controlling it. But I also think that I have been able to let go of some of the unnecessary stress I put on myself. I have been better at realizing what things I should actually be stressed about and what I can just let go of. If stress isn't going to help me control the outcome of something then I am usually ok at letting it go.

Ummm talking about procrastination is kind of awkward because I think I may have been getting worse. I have some serious senioritis killing me right now. Motivating myself to keep working in school is nearly impossible but recently I got a pretty good reason to keep working hard so hopefully the procrastination won't be quite as bad. (Don't worry, I will tell you more about said reason soon).

I was doing so so good at reading my scriptures every morning and then I got sick and could barely wake up at the time I had to and couldn't make the extra time to read in the morning. After that I haven't been able to get back in the habit but I am definitely going to rededicate myself because I saw a huge difference in my life when I was reading daily. 

So physical activity. I can't say that I have kept up with my goal exactly but I have been doing better lately. I have felt generally more motivation to be less lazy. I can't say I always follow through on that motivation but at least I am thinking about it.

Really taking time to reflect on my resolutions has made me remember why I made these goals and that I really need to keep working on them. And hopefully every one else is doing better than me at working towards their goals.  

Friday, March 7, 2014

Grad School.

When I started college I remember saying to Lauren "there is no way I am going to grad school. 4 years of college is more than enough for me".

Well here we are a little less than 4 years later and I would like to officially say that I have been accepted to Grad School!


I got accepted to the U and I am just waiting to hear from one more school before I definitely make my decision, but secretly I am pretty sure I will be going to the U. It is like the perfect program for me and gives me more chances to keep cheering for my Utes. 

Now you might understand why I specifically said "undergraduate" in this post or why I said I have a little more motivation to work hard this semester because I have to send them my official transcript after I graduate. Which means they will see these pesky last semester grades. 

I can't really tell you how I feel about this. I am nervous and a little anxious about if I am making the right choice. Grad School is a huge commitment and what if I am not ready for it? At the same time my heart just feels that this is what I need to do. I need a little more education so I can really get to where I want to be. 

I also just have to say how grateful I am to everyone who helped me to get to this point. Honestly I would have never made it this far without my parents, family, and friends. For some reason when my friend Austin commented on my instagram and said "Heck ya!!!" I literally teared up. You are all too good to me and I don't deserve it.

So thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me to make my dreams come true, and honestly some of you have made my dreams come true without me even doing any work. 

So here is to life taking me to grad school!

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Arrows

Ok I know I have already posted about this song but I really can not get over it.


I am still listening to it constantly.

There is just something about it that makes me happy. If I am in any sort of a bad mood this is the song I listen to and it automatically makes me feel better.

I even made the amazingly talented Sarah make me some designs of it. 




I think I love it so much because it basically just says that you have to do what makes you happy. Everyone has different things that satisfy them and thats ok. In fact, thats marvelous!

Everyone is different and we are all just doing the best we can. So we all just need to follow our arrows towards what we think is right and what will make us the happiest. 

I know you all think that is probably overkill on this topic but I really can not get enough of the song and the whole idea. In fact, I tell everyone I know to follow their arrow all the time. If you know me personally and I haven't told you that yet just wait, its coming. 

So I really hope you are all following your arrows towards what you think is right and what will bring you the most happiness.  

Monday, March 3, 2014

Seniors.

If you don't already know that I am graduating from college this May then I have been a horrible blogger. The impending graduation is totally stressful and exciting and nerve-wracking and insane but I am sure I will talk about that more as it gets closer. 

But the one thing that really freaks me out about graduating is that it is the last of everything. For example, last weekend was "senior day" for the Utah basketball team. These days usually make me a little sad because it is the last time they will get to play on their home floor but this time it was me that was sad. That was the last game I will ever attend as an undergraduate. Isn't that depressing?


Maybe depressing isn't the right word. It is just like emotional. And hard for me to comprehend. College is such a huge part of life and I can't believe that these are my last days there. 

So I guess that is kind of all I have to say about that right now. 

Oh, and the Utes won so thats always a plus.