Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Half a year.

Yesterday was George's half birthday and it is making me quite emotional. I can not believe that he is closer to being 1 than he is to when he was born! My little baby is not quite so little any more. 

The poor boy had kind of a rough half birthday. He had his 6 month appointment on Monday and he got some shots so he wasn't feeling great. If you know George then you know that he may be the least cuddly baby. He always wants to know what is going on so he never wants to just sit still and let me hold him. Since he was not feeling well he let me hold him all day.  This is so unlike him and made me so sad but I was happy to have some more cuddles.

As I was holding him and he was taking a little nap I was just thinking about the day he was born. Since I had a c section and he needed to be on oxygen I wasn't able to hold him until about 3 hours after he was born. And then after that he had to go to the nursery and I didn't get to be with him for a few more hours until I was able to stand up. So I spent most of that first day away from him. He was probably so overwhelmed and confused on that first day and wanted something familiar and I was the only thing he had ever known and he wasn't able to be with me. It breaks my heart thinking about him needing me and not being able to be with him. 

So today as I was holding him I was thinking about how grateful I was that I was able to take care of him today. I was the only one he wanted and I was happy to just hold him and make him feel as comfortable as possible. I am so happy to be his mom and be the one that gets to take care of him.

We are just so lucky to have our little George with us and I just really felt so grateful for him today. I am happy that I know he will get over this little bout of feeling crummy and that he is so healthy and happy. He is just such a blessing to our lives and we are so happy to have him. 

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

6 months.

George at 6 months:

- Nothing too significant has happened this month but he is just getting bigger and stronger.

- He is working his little vocal cords all the time. He is particularly good at squealing.

- He LOVES attention. He always wants people to be looking at him and talking to him. If you are not paying attention to him he will let you know that he wants you to.

- He is a pro at sitting up. He hardly ever falls over and he is getting way more stable when he leans over to grab something

- He puts any and everything in his mouth. You have to be careful of what is by him because the second he grabs it then it will be in his mouth. 

- He is the happiest little boy when he wakes up. He greets me with a smile every morning and that really makes up for the fact that he is still waking up 2 times a night to eat.

- Loves to be in the tub.

- Is the sweetest little boy and we are so obsessed with him. I can not believe that he is closer to being 1 than he is to when he was born! I am such a stereotypical mom but I seriously can not believe my little buddy is growing up so quick!

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Word for 2018.

Like almost everyone else on the internet, I decided to pick a word for the year. I have kind of done this in the past but I feel like I was never as serious about it as I feel like this year. I just feel so motivated and excited about my goals this year. 

I bought some Powersheets which have been helping me to really work through and set really meaningful goals and it also has you pick a work of the year. So the word I picked this year is Discipline. 


Now this sounds really harsh and it definitely is not the most exciting word of the year but I think it is perfect for me at this time of my life. This is the first time that I don't really have anything keeping me to a set schedule. Like George wakes me up in the morning and I have a routine with him but I don't have set school or work schedules that I have to keep any more. So that means I have been more lazy and just unproductive because I don't have anyway to really structure my days. 

This is where discipline comes in. Without any outside source of structure I need to be accountable to myself for getting things done and being productive. I have a whole big list of goals that I am really excited about but I know that without any self discipline from myself I am not going to get them done. 

I feel really excited and motivated about this.  I usually start the year with some random goals that I think would be nice but this year I have really focused goals that I know will really improve my life. So here goes nothing, I am ready to take on 2018 and make it the best ever. 

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

5 months

George at 5 months:

- Has 2 teeth! I can not even believe my tiny little boy has two teeth. I almost cry every time I think about his teeth because I am going to miss his toothless smile so much!

- Can sit up all on his own. One day he couldn't sit up and the next he could. He growing up so quick!

- His favorite toys are toothbrushes. He has two of them and he will play with them for like 20 minutes which is like 20 times longer than he will play with anything else.

- Loves food. We were really trying to not give him food until he was 6 months but he has been screaming at us anytime we ate so we decided to start giving him a little bit of food and he loves it. 

- Is starting to get a little attached to mom. He really pays attention to when I leave the room and doesn't like it. 

- Wishes he could move so he could get all his toys but I am pretty sure he won't crawl for a long while because he is back to hating tummy time more than ever. Once he learned how to sit up he totally hates laying on the floor. 

Thursday, December 14, 2017


Ok lets get real.

 Being a mom is pretty good. 

George is the cutest baby and he really is pretty much an angel (like he was teething a few days this week and I literally didn't even know. That is how good he is.) and he's so fun and makes us so happy but there are some serious drawbacks to this whole motherhood thing.

(Disclaimer: I would not give up being a mom for any of these things to change but sometimes I just need to complain a little)

- Sleep. George is a bad sleeper. Honestly I have felt a lot of shame over the fact that he is a bad sleeper. Somehow every time I talk to someone about it they make me feel like I am a bad mother because he still wakes up every 2 hours. I have done everything I know to try to get him to sleep. At least now he puts himself to sleep but he still wakes up a lot and it is taking a toll. So I sincerely apologize if I am a little snippy these days but not sleeping for 5 months does that to a person.

- Post partum hair loss: This is the main reason I wanted to write this post because it is seriously the worst thing about having a baby. For the past 3 months my hair has been falling out in clumps. I almost cry every time I take a shower because there is so much hair, I haven't brushed my hair in about 4 weeks because too much falls out, and I am pretty sure I have at least 2 dreadlocks forming due to my lack of brushing. I seriously do not understand how I am not completely bald yet and in all honesty, I have a few bald spots. People keep telling me that it will grow back but I have been growing my hair out since I was a junior in high school. I don't really have 8 more years to grow my hair back especially if I am going to have this much loss after each baby. And if people don't tell me that it will grow back then they tell me that their hair never really fell out. So basically everyone talking about their hair is the worst. 

- Getting dressed. Having a baby is rough on your body. Once you have the baby everything is just different. I lost most of the weight I gained pretty quick but everything is just all differently sized than it was before. I have two pairs of pants that fit me (one of them is leggings so if you don't count leggings then I only have one pair of pants) and constantly trying to decide if something is nursing friendly is the worst. Basically getting dressed is the worst part of my day.

- Breastfeeding: Breastfeeding is hard. And unlike apparently everyone else on the earth, I don't love it.  I am constantly thinking about if I am drinking enough water to be able to produce enough milk. I am always scouting out where I can feed him next. And he is getting so distracted lately that it just makes everything harder. I am so grateful that I am able to breastfeed him and give him exactly what his body needs to grow best but it is hard. 

There you have it. A really honest and pretty embarrassing post about the realities of being a mom. It really is wonderful and I love George so much but sometimes when your hair is falling out and you only slept 6 hours in 1.5 hour increments the night before life just seems a little rough. 

But now you will have to excuse me because I am off to attempt to snuggle a crazy 4 month old that thinks he is big enough to start sitting up an getting teeth.